Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Getting to Know Alicia 2/30...Fears

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

This feels like a therapy session; I don't know how I feel about it.   But, I guess you all will really get to know me.

  1. Being afraid of heights -- I wish I knew where this one came from.  Maybe I can trace it back to when I went to the Sears Tower in Chicago??  All of sudden I get really freaked by heights and this wasn't always the case.  I installed a silo at my previous job and I avoided going to the top of it for a really, really long time.  Then the day came that I had to go up there and see something for myself.  This is a freaky experience, you have to wear fall protection, which automatically  makes you think there is a real chance you could fall.  You climb up this vertical ladder, where your harness is latching into the side so if you do fall it'll catch you, but you'll still be hanging there awkwardly.  I finally did it, but facing that fear didn't make it any better, it just made me not want to do that again.
  2. Fear of being alone -- This is one I'm working on in therapy.  People would say I'm a serial monogomist.  But, I don't think that's exactly true.  I'm living alone and actually embracing it right now, but the only way this is possible is by having amazing friends and family.  So I don't necessarily need a dude in my life but I do need people in my life.  I struggle with sitting at home on a Sunday afternoon just relaxing.  I always want to be out doing something; being social.  I need to get to the bottom of this one.  Again another fear I'm not sure about; not sure where it stems from.  I guess I'm not really following the rules of the question. 
  3. Upsetting people or feeling like I've failed -- This kind of relates to #2.  This has to do with work and my personal life.  I strive for recognition.  That is what makes me tick.  And so if I were to get negative recognition, that would upset me greatly.  I have a high level of confidence, but when I do something wrong or let people down it truly takes a toll on me.  I just hold myself to such high standards, so I guess essentially I'm letting myself down.
This was deep...

To lighten the mood!